I never thought about these days, when my kids would become teenagers. Three teenagers in one house! Ugh. Three of me combined with their fathers’ DNA! What was I thinking? Well, tbh I wasn’t at all. I was so lost. I can’t imagine any of my kids having babies right now. Who let me have kids!!!? I keep reminding myself that they’ll eventually grow up and everything will be fine.
I remember when I was a teen and I was a little brat. I’m sorry mom! If she were here everything would be different. She would’ve been the best grandma ever. It’s hard to think of how it would’ve been. I wish my kids could’ve had that chance.
I don’t regret having so many kids, what I do regret is that having them so young affected their lives. I didn’t know how much of me they were taking until I completely lost myself. It’s been a hard road. I remind my kids that I grew up with them, that it was never my intention though. I mean, how was a fourteen year old girl to know what she was getting herself into. It’s okay though, I’ve grown, and if it weren’t for them, I would’ve stayed lost.
But one thing is for sure, it is harder to fix a grown person than to fix children. Children are resilient, they snap back from anything if you help them. Now as teenagers, my kids don’t know how to talk to me about feelings because I was an emotional wreck. (I still am, lol, but now I know how to manage my emotions a little better). I’ve learned so much from my kids, they’ve given me the best times of my life. Also some pretty bad ones, but those fade away with the love I feel for them.
I think the hardest part of being a mom is seeing them commit the same mistakes you made. Ugh. That hurts. It takes time and a lot of patience to learn to let them make their own mistakes. And all you can do is pray to God they don’t get hurt the way you did.
Anyways. To all the mommas of teens out there, I salute you! And you are not alone!!